Better out than in…

So this week has been all about surrendering & accepting what is and funnily enough it hasn’t been easy! Most of the time the wise part of me is present in the background, guiding me back on track, soothing me when I’m riled and encouraging me to stay out of any dramas. This week however, I think she may have gone on holiday and left me with the un-awakened part of me that is prone to a bit of drama and woe, as it hasn’t been smooth.

When life gets a little bumpier, as it does from time to time, before I can reach peace and acceptance I have to find an outlet for getting out whatever it is that is pushing my buttons. If I keep it in I very quickly feel out of balance. For me journalling and EFT work best. What doesn’t work best is express how I feel when I’m in the midst of it, as once it’s out, it’s out! You see, while I am calm and centered a lot of the time, I have also inherited my dad’s Ukrainian fireyness, and we need to Let.It.Out. But as I’ve discovered over the years, there’s a healthy way and then there’s the other way.

In the work I do with clients a lot of the time people have been keeping stuff in; old hurts, regrets, anger, disappointment, guilt, and because it hasn’t been resolved, it has dragged the person down to a place where they feel out of balance, unhappy, and unable to fully move on to a place of peace. Strong and painful emotions kept in can hugely stress our body, and if left unresolved, I believe can affect our health. There are plenty of ways that people learn to deal with their stuff such as having distractions that could include shopping, drinking, eating or working, but these never get to the truth of the matter, and what we resist persists, so we may as well do something about it.

Journalling is something that I’ve been doing for the last couple of years as part of the counselling courses I’ve been on. We’re encouraged to write about whatever comes up for us in class as well as in every day life. I have found that having this space to get everything out on the page is really therapeutic. Sometimes though you can journal about it, meet a friend and rant about it, or have a good old shout but the issue isn’t cleared and it will just keep on repeating itself in your life, one way or another, until we really tackle it and heal it. The best method for truly getting to the roots of our issues that I have found is EFT, which stands for Emotional Freedom Techniques.

EFT looks unusual and it is unusual; tapping on different energy points in the body, tuning into uncomfortable feelings that we usually prefer to keep in, and forgiving our selves, all out loud, can feel awkward and bonkers in equal measure when we start. But once you get into the swing of things it can also be incredibly liberating and, most importantly, deeply effective and transformational. In a session I tend to work intuitively and I’m often told that it’s like I’m in the person’s head once we get tapping and talking. I encourage my clients to tap on all issues that arise, and to use it as a self-help tool in their daily life, as part of the session involves me teaching the process to the client. To see EFT in action please check out my YouTube channel where I post EFT demos as well as guided meditations.

I personally use EFT to help me work through and process uncomfortable stuff that arises in my life, and I love how quickly it can take down the intensity of my feelings and create space for clarity and peace to arise. Sometimes though I forget I have this amazing tool, and I’ll go a few days, getting pulled into an issue or a drama, and then at some point the fog lifts and I remember EFT. That aha moment is like a slap to the head; here I am getting stressed and not getting anywhere with it, and all along there’s a way to alleviate it…doh!

Occasionally though we prefer to stay in life’s dramas; we may think it’s giving up, or giving in, to let go, and of course this way of thinking doesn’t lead to peace either. For this I have found self-enquiry to be a life saver as it can help to retrain our thinking from limiting and unhelpful to empowering and supportive. During sessions when it’s appropriate I share the techniques I have picked up from teachers over the years as they can be wonderfully transformational.

Next week I’ll share with you some of the best tips I’ve found for creating a more empowering head-space. In the meantime if you feel you would benefit from learning this transformational and effective technique to help you deal with life’s bumps and unresolved emotional stuff, please email tania@tanialouise.com and we’ll arrange a chat to talk more about how it may be able to help you.

Until then, wishing you a lovely and peaceful weekend,

Tania x