EFT Archives - Tania Louise - Integrative Therapist

Better out than in…

July 18, 2014 by Tania Louise Leave a Comment

So this week has been all about surrendering & accepting what is and funnily enough it hasn’t been easy! Most of the time the wise part of me is present in the background, guiding me back on track, soothing me when I’m riled and encouraging me to stay out of any dramas. This week however, I think she may have gone on holiday and left me with the un-awakened part of me that is prone to a bit of drama and woe, as it hasn’t been smooth.

When life gets a little bumpier, as it does from time to time, before I can reach peace and acceptance I have to find an outlet for getting out whatever it is that is pushing my buttons. If I keep it in I very quickly feel out of balance. For me journalling and EFT work best. What doesn’t work best is express how I feel when I’m in the midst of it, as once it’s out, it’s out! You see, while I am calm and centered a lot of the time, I have also inherited my dad’s Ukrainian fireyness, and we need to Let.It.Out. But as I’ve discovered over the years, there’s a healthy way and then there’s the other way.

In the work I do with clients a lot of the time people have been keeping stuff in; old hurts, regrets, anger, disappointment, guilt, and because it hasn’t been resolved, it has dragged the person down to a place where they feel out of balance, unhappy, and unable to fully move on to a place of peace. Strong and painful emotions kept in can hugely stress our body, and if left unresolved, I believe can affect our health. There are plenty of ways that people learn to deal with their stuff such as having distractions that could include shopping, drinking, eating or working, but these never get to the truth of the matter, and what we resist persists, so we may as well do something about it.

Journalling is something that I’ve been doing for the last couple of years as part of the counselling courses I’ve been on. We’re encouraged to write about whatever comes up for us in class as well as in every day life. I have found that having this space to get everything out on the page is really therapeutic. Sometimes though you can journal about it, meet a friend and rant about it, or have a good old shout but the issue isn’t cleared and it will just keep on repeating itself in your life, one way or another, until we really tackle it and heal it. The best method for truly getting to the roots of our issues that I have found is EFT, which stands for Emotional Freedom Techniques.

EFT looks unusual and it is unusual; tapping on different energy points in the body, tuning into uncomfortable feelings that we usually prefer to keep in, and forgiving our selves, all out loud, can feel awkward and bonkers in equal measure when we start. But once you get into the swing of things it can also be incredibly liberating and, most importantly, deeply effective and transformational. In a session I tend to work intuitively and I’m often told that it’s like I’m in the person’s head once we get tapping and talking. I encourage my clients to tap on all issues that arise, and to use it as a self-help tool in their daily life, as part of the session involves me teaching the process to the client. To see EFT in action please check out my YouTube channel where I post EFT demos as well as guided meditations.

I personally use EFT to help me work through and process uncomfortable stuff that arises in my life, and I love how quickly it can take down the intensity of my feelings and create space for clarity and peace to arise. Sometimes though I forget I have this amazing tool, and I’ll go a few days, getting pulled into an issue or a drama, and then at some point the fog lifts and I remember EFT. That aha moment is like a slap to the head; here I am getting stressed and not getting anywhere with it, and all along there’s a way to alleviate it…doh!

Occasionally though we prefer to stay in life’s dramas; we may think it’s giving up, or giving in, to let go, and of course this way of thinking doesn’t lead to peace either. For this I have found self-enquiry to be a life saver as it can help to retrain our thinking from limiting and unhelpful to empowering and supportive. During sessions when it’s appropriate I share the techniques I have picked up from teachers over the years as they can be wonderfully transformational.

Next week I’ll share with you some of the best tips I’ve found for creating a more empowering head-space. In the meantime if you feel you would benefit from learning this transformational and effective technique to help you deal with life’s bumps and unresolved emotional stuff, please email tania@tanialouise.com and we’ll arrange a chat to talk more about how it may be able to help you.

Until then, wishing you a lovely and peaceful weekend,

Tania x

Healing the food & body image groundhog day with EFT

July 7, 2014 by Tania Louise Leave a Comment

Recently in a session with a client we were doing EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques – see the diagram below for the tapping points) and tapping on her thoughts around her weight, and her relationship with her body and food. As with many of the clients I see with issues around this topic, this lifelong battle of yo-yo dieting, and a dislike, and in some cases hatred of her parts of her body, was really affecting the quality of her life. Food was always at the back of her mind, and when she was being strict about following a healthy regime, the fear of slipping back into being overweight and losing control was always present.

As you can imagine, living like this is neither happy or balanced. With the majority of clients that I see who have a similar relationship with food and weight the treatment I usually find most effective to get to the roots of these limiting thoughts and patterns is EFT. During a session we tap on all the feelings that have been stuffed down, usually with food or drink, or other distracting habits such as shopping. Lifting the lid off these painful feelings of unworthiness and getting to the roots of these feelings isn’t the easiest process, but people usually find they can begin to see things in a clearer way, and learn to find respect and even love for themselves and their bodies. EFT tapping points

As mentioned last week I’m on a month-long detox and at the start of week 2 I am feeling lighter and clearer but I have noticed my emotions are a little more tender than usual and I do feel more sensitive. Recently, pre-detox, when I have felt this way I would’ve reached for a perk-me-up coffee, or in the evening a glass of wine or some chocolate, to numb the feelings away. Not having these emotional crutches to reach for I am having to feel what I feel and tap on whatever arises. It’s an interesting process but strangely, I am enjoying the clarity of my feelings, and even though I am having a few detox wobbles, I love that I am dealing with whatever was waiting to be noticed; that quiet voice within, that can easily be drowned out by life’s distractions and indulgences.

While I do go for seasonal detoxes to clean out my system I haven’t ever dieted and don’t own a pair of scales. I know from experience that if I deny myself something I tend to think about it more and that takes up precious energy that I could be using more productively. I also believe that enjoying my occasional indulgences is one of the joys of life. Rather than eat a pizza and feel full of remorse afterwards I prefer to enjoy every mouthful and know that it is a weekly treat.

I see so many people, usually women, who have an out of balance relationship with food and their bodies, and who are forever denying themselves what they want, and then end up going off diet, beating themselves up about it, feeling full of guilt and then having to repeat. It’s a body/weight groundhog day and one in which the middle path – moderation – and learning to appreciate the skin you’re in, can provide a living solution moving forward. First though, exploring the underlying emotions of why we reach for food or drink is the area that needs tackling first. Body and weight issues are rarely about the food itself and most often have their roots in childhood. It may be that a grandparent was a loving influence in your life and gave you sweets to make you feel better, or perhaps you felt pressured to be a certain weight to fit in but found it hard to live up to these standards and ate to comfort yourself.

Whatever the reason, EFT can provide quick and effective results so that you work through the underlying issues and learn to have a healthier relationship with yourself and food, and get off the yo-yo dieting hamster wheel once and for all.

Someone who enjoys a healthy relationship with food is Corrie actress Cath Tyldesley who enjoys nurturing her body with healthy food and exercise but who will also treat herself. Her recent blog for Hello! Magazine talks about the EFT sessions she has had with me and some of the exercises that work for her.

To accompany this blog I have recorded an EFT video which gives you an idea how to tap using EFT and focuses specifically on food and our emotional relationship with it. If you haven’t tried EFT before I recommend tapping along to it, making sure to use your words when tapping on foods so that it resonates with you.

If you would like more information on how EFT can help you or would like to book in for an in-person session or a session via Skype, please email tania@tanialouise.com and I’ll be in touch.

Wishing you a healthy, happy week,

Tania x

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